After

Big events in life almost always cause a BC/AD thought process in us.  Before marriage.  After.  Before children.  After.  Before loss. After. Before Ukraine. After Ukraine.  We arrived back in the States after nearly two months living in Ukraine on December 25th, 2012.  Two and a half years ago.  "Where have [we] been?" is the next question. Like Jen Hatmaker, we have some "after the airport" thoughts.  ( http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport ).  We gained attention when half our passports were stolen on our way there.  Maybe we kept attention throughout the process with heart-sleeve honesty about our journey, trials and ultimately our success in bringing Liza (Leeza) home; or maybe it was because she was 16 and aging out at the time; or maybe it was because it was Christmas; or because we had our four biological children and 66 year-old parents with us. We had a lot of people, tens of thousands, checking our blog, writing to us, praying for us and following every step with bated breath.  After seven interminably long weeks, on Christmas night, we made it home with our new daughter.

The end.

At least that's what it looked like; a sparkly, Christmas miracle, fairy tale ending (if there were any such thing as fairy tales about international adoption).  We left our supporters kinda hanging afterward. Sorry about that.  Now we'd like to tell you why.  Through a series of pieces that we are writing together with Liza, which will be translated into Russian for other kids in her situation to read if their new parents so desire, we want to share part two of our story.  Tom & I have often written jointly to give you both perspectives of Mom and Dad.  One thing that has since been gained is Liza's perspective.  She has a voice now.  Praise God.  And she wants to use it.  We expect it to be challenging but cathartic and relationship building for us.  

Why now?  Well, Liza decided last week that she wants to return to Ukraine on a mission trip with her Daddy in June.  That's HUGE.  Until now she has readily admitted that it was too soon and would be too painful.  Now Liza believes she's ready to not only return to her birthplace, but to minister to orphans there...during wartime.  Could she be any more courageous??? When I have the emotional energy to think through the complexities of if all, I am full-circle-speechless.

Step one is to, get this, obtain a passport.  Ordinarily this wouldn't be a record scratching moment.  However, USCIS has kinda dropped the ball on finalizing her citizenship.  She is the only Ukrainian teen adopted into the U.S. that we personally know of who has still not taken her citizenship oath 2.5 years later.  So there's that.  And then there's just--- us and passports.  It's a thing.  A Mountain thing.  Stay tuned.

Coming Soon: We will get our feet wet in the shallow end with a lighter subject that we have practiced quite a bit, what Liza calls "My American Smile". :)

Back to Ukraine

Well, if you're one of our blog's followers, you know we've been asleep at the wheel for some time.  Perhaps not a completely fair assessment given the adventures continue on a daily basis around here. I mean, who has time to write about their lives at the end of the day when they're exhausted from living them?  A lot has transpired these past 2 & 1/2 years.  We brought home a new daughter, Liza; hosted another Ukrainian orphan Bogdan on three occasions and had our 5th biological child most recently, this past November! So, what's next? Well, in addition to continuing to have a heart for the orphan and in particular, Ukraine, Reagan and I have been asked to join the board of a new ministry called 1U Project.  1U has at the root of its mission, supporting, loving and enabling Ukrainian Christians in their efforts to bring the Word of God to the orphan, the refugee and poor who live there.

Some in-country connections have already been made and I'm excited to tell you that Liza and I will be traveling back to Ukraine this coming June 13th-20th.  Rather than rewrite, please take a moment to read our letter:
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Hello Friends and Family,

Our daughter, October is traveling to Haiti this May to serve God in the mission field. And I'm very excited to share with you an opportunity that God has opened up this June for myself and our daughter, Liza!  Our good friend, Wendy Farrell and her ministry, 1U Project are dedicated to serving God and people in Ukraine, where Liza is from.   Liza and I will be traveling with a small group from 1U Project to Ukraine from June 13-20th.

A primary focus of 1U Project is to support and encourage the Church in Ukraine as they serve God through orphan care as well as serving other disadvantaged peoples.  This is done primarily through the financial support of local churches and ministries in Ukraine but also through developing relationships, building bridges and being physically present to show God's love through short-term trips.

We will be arriving in Kiev on June 13th and traveling to Lviv in Western Ukraine.  There, we will come alongside believers who are beginning a new, private Christian orphanage.  This is rare as most orphanages are state-run.  They are wonderful, Christian people who have been praying about this for many, many years. The orphanage will be located 40 minutes from Lviv, and we will be staying there when we come in June.  They are asking for help in getting the building ready for the kids to move in. Approximately 32 kids will move into the orphanage in September.  They are all kids who are true or social orphans (ie, parents without parental rights), ages 3-18. As you are probably aware, this is something very close to my heart - and of course Liza's, who was once an orphan herself.  The opportunity to serve, support, encourage and strengthen the relationships there is very exciting to us!  Nikolay, the director, said he has 2 goals for this orphanage: to show the kids the road to Jesus and to find families for them. Our goal is help in any way we can.  We expect to paint, purchase furnishings, move things in, etc.

We will also plan to spend time at Good Samaritan Mission. Spending time with all the residents...refugee families from regions affected by the war with Russia, retirees and orphans. We are also hoping to take the kids on a couple of outings to do some fun things in the city and would love to be able to do some Bible studies with the adults that live there. Depending on how many people end up going, we might split up and do different things. The Christians living in Ukraine are obviously best equipped to run these ministries, but they lack the financial ability to accomplish much.  1U Project seeks to help provide them with the support they need to reach Ukraine for the Lord.  The main goal of the entire trip is serve them and to truly deepen relationships with those that we are supporting year-round from across the ocean.

I'd like to ask for your support in a few ways. First, I’d like to ask for your prayers!  While Liza grew up there and I am comfortable with the language, there is always a need to ask for safety, especially in a country where there has recently been military conflict with Russia.  We also would ask that you could pray for God to use us according to His will - that the work that is done there is not temporary but eternal.  We are asking God to use us to somehow bring glory to His Kingdom!  Finally, please pray for Reagan who will be supporting us at home, caring for the other 5 kids including our sleep-averse baby boy.

Second, if you are able to help financially, we are looking to raise a total of $4,000 for the two of us.  Round trip airfare to Kiev is estimated at $1,200 - $1,500 per person depending on availability.  We will also need to secure travel in country via train, taxi, etc.  We expect most of our nights will be freely hosted but there may also be some nights that we need to pay for accommodations.  And of course, we need to eat.  :)  Any surplus raised will be used to provide gifts to the kids, purchase supplies and furniture for the new orphanage and to financially support the work of the in-country ministers. The good news for us is that once in Ukraine, the current value of the American dollar goes twice as far as it did 2 years ago.

Tax-deductible donations can be made directly to 1U Project here: https://purecharity.com/field_partners/746/fund

Be sure to select “Tom Mountain June Trip Fund” from the pull down list.  Checks can also be made out to 1U Project with my name in the memo and mailed to: 162 Autumn Dr., Franklinton, NC 27525. Thank you for partnering with us as we seek to serve God in this exciting way!

Sincerely,

Tom Mountain

Bring Back Bogdan

Dear friends and faithful blog-readers,
This Christmas we are bringing back Bogdan for another 3 weeks in the US with our family.  As we know from our Ukrainian girl, Liza, he has never experienced the kind of Christmas that we in America get to experience - or anything remotely close to it.  We will be meeting the kids and chaperons at the airport mid-late December.  It will be three weeks during some of the best memory-making time of year.  We hope and pray that God will use this time to inspire hope in Bogdan and the other children who come to America.  Though it will only be half the time as we had with him this summer, travel costs and expenses remain the same and are high.  If you are inspired, led or otherwise compelled to give to this experience for Bogdan, you can contribute using the link below.  You can also watch a neat video that Reagan made about his time with us this past summer.  Thanks for your prayerful consideration!
Tom

Watch this video: Bring Back Bogdan
Donate here if you are able: http://www.youcaring.com/other/bring-bogdan-back/99459

Alight & Alive

I could lift a car from his body right now.  But this is beyond adrenaline and supernatural bursts.  Pray protection over his mind, body & spirit.  Pray that what was awoken in him this summer, would stay alight and alive.

Living Reliving

Tears have lingered in your eyelashes all day.  There's no make-up left, but the streaks show anyway.  You are glad the screen isn't reflective.   Your phone is dying from all the incoming calls and texts.  Each conversation seems to make him feel worse.  You can do nothing but say again and again, 'Everything will be okay.'...'I love you'...'I miss you'...'I will not forget you'...You are living this fresh with him, while you relive it with her.  It was one year ago that you sent her back, too.  You were and are helpless.  And a coward.  Your husband is doing the hard thing.  He always does the hard things.

Getting involved, doesn't get your hands dirty...it's bloody.  It's a heartbreaking, bloody mess getting involved with orphans.  Hear a name.  See a face.  Hold a hand.  Break a heart.  You will never forget.  You will never be free again.  Not that freedom was worth anything.  It was achieved in ignorance.  Ignorance that this baby (and millions more) has a dead mother, an incarcerated father.  He is being raised like an animal because he's "mentally retarded."  Except that he isn't.  Maybe he's hyperactive, maybe dyslexic, maybe a little delayed.  But it doesn't matter because he doesn't count.  He's living in a kennel.  That's what you just sent him back to.  You gave him everything and then took it away and he doesn't understand.  He's seven, but not really.  Because he's never seen anything and he didn't even know that ice cream melts or families are real or how to count to ten.

Until you taught him.

You drove an hour away to buy him just the right teddy bear.  His first.  But the $30 stuffed dog was the one that grabbed you.  You didn't know he was terrified of dogs.  Or that he would throw it at you every night when you sat by his bed trying to win him over, to make him feel safe.  For weeks.  On the first day, in the first hour, he ran.  He ran from you straight into the airport traffic.  He vomited all the way "home". On the second night, you knew it was going to hurt.  He wouldn't look you in the eye or speak to you, but when he fell asleep, you watched his baby face.  And you knew it was going to hurt.

He was afraid of showers.  Boats.  People.  Chickens.  Dogs.  He would scream and claw his way into the house or out of the room.  He would push you underwater when you tried to help him up.  You had to prove to him that the life jacket would keep him afloat.  That the boat wouldn't sink.  That the dog wouldn't bite him.  That the shower wouldn't burn him.  That the chickens wouldn't eat him. 

That you wouldn't leave him.

Except it was hard.  He didn't believe you because he had no reason to trust you.  What does trust even mean to a malnourished, seven year old orphan?   He hit, bit, screamed, cried, ran, hid.  You lost your patience.  You lost your temper.  You lost time, space, sanity.  You thought about quitting.  It all made you feel evil.  You had to talk each other into it every day.  Into getting out of bed.  You woke up, wanting to stay asleep because you had a brand new day to get through.  You went to bed, wanting to stay awake because it meant you had already made it.  You wanted your life back.  

But he learned.  And things got better.  He jumped into the water.  Again and again and again.  He let you move away, further and further, without catching him.  He stopped running from the dogs.  He stopped to pet them.  He got down on the floor and put his face next to their big scary jaws.  He let them lick him.  He laughed about it.  He turned on the shower himself.  He washed his own hair.  He got in bed without crying.  He put the stuffed dog at the end of the bed.  He put it under the covers with him.  He looked frantically for it.  He held it in his arms as he fell asleep.  He said sorry.

Today, when you finally made it, you want to set back the clocks. Today you want to answer his calls with certainty.  Yes, he can stay.  No, he doesn't have to get on that plane.  He doesn't have to go back to the nothing that is waiting.

When you weren't looking, when you had your guard up, when you were playing the heavy, when you were bathing, feeding, teaching, driving, holding, hugging, kissing, disciplining, listening, reading...that mama's heart God gave you, loved him.  The only thing in life you have ever been sure of, really, truly sure of, is that you were born to be a mother.  It doesn't seem like much.  You're not talented, you're not famous, you're not sought out.  You are 

the very thing he needed.

He's calling you Mama.  He's saying I love you, Mama.  I miss you, Mama.  When can I see you, Mama?  But he's already gone. 

Your hands are dirty.  You're a bloody, tear stained mess.

 

You don't know what God's plan is for this treasure in the mist, this orphan in your heart.  You know five other children need you, too.  You know your body is exhausted, your heart is broken. You can't let go.  You know that thousands of people know her story, so your bleed his case, too, and wait for answers.  Because nothing is impossible.

3 Month Survival Guide

I started this post on March 25th, our 3 month mark.  Today is July 7th, two weeks past our six month mark.  That fact is enough to sum up productivity at this point in my life.  C'est la vie.  Or more apropros это жизнь.

This is what I wrote:
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March 25th marked 3 months since we disembarked an airplane from Ukraine, on Christmas Day, after a 6 1/2 week stay, with a new daughter, a new family, a new life. So how are we? What's it like? Those are really hard questions to answer. You are never going to get a simple, "fine", "good", "she's great", "we're great", "everything's great" from me, no matter how much you want it ;) Sorry, no can do. Today though, she's great. We're great. Everything's great. 

Three weeks ago also marked the turning of a much anticipated corner in the "adjustment". Man, I hate that word. I am as sick of using it myself as I am of hearing it. We need a new word to describe it that doesn't reek of The Bachelor or American Idol like "journey", or infer apocalypse like "aftermath". I'm still working on it. Give me a few minutes. It's on the tip of my tongue. While we are far from standing on the summit, we have achieved a new plateau that's much higher up than we were before. It's allowing us to take off our packs and enjoy the view for hours, even days at a time. There is no recipe or manual for this. But recalling other's experiences in a dark moment can pluck you from a narrow ledge.

So it's been on my heart to write about how we got ourselves and five emotional, exhausted and grieving kids through the worst of the awkward, chaotic, painful, heart numbing work of the early days. I'll be honest, though, that part of my motivation in taking time out to write this is that I want you to join the movement. I have a personal interest in wanting the world orphan problem eradicated. I want it gone. It's as disgusting as the problem of abortion in our generation. If I didn't believe in a God that sent His Son to die on the cross, I would say it's unforgivable. Every year 2.1 million MORE children are orphaned. Babies, all of them. Every 16 year old that is aging out of a system that's failed them, is a baby at heart. A baby like a photo of one that I saw in a garbage can recently.

If reading our story makes you feel guilty, if seeing pictures of orphans makes you feel bad, I encourage you to not look away.  That's the Holy Spirit convicting you to move.  Your are called by Christ to care for the orphans whether or not you are called to adopt.  If you need ideas, write to me.  I have a few.

Okay,  climbing down off my soapbox...high horse, whatever.

The idea after nearly 7 weeks away was to come home and have our Christmas staycation.  We, for obvious reasons, had no desire to leave home again.  And contrary to the opinions of romantics looking at snowy pictures, Ukraine was not at all Christmassy for us.  Like, at alllll.  I have heard a lot of people talking about the miracle of us landing on Christmas Day.  But in the interest of full disclosure, it was not at all Christmassy for us.  Like at alllll.
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We will never know what else I was going to say.  I think it was about the strict schedule we had to maintain for several months after one fairly disastrous week home.  Instead of a restful time, we had to hug our children day in and day our with structure.  It really truly helped them.  It helped me too, but it also wore me clean out.  Again I felt like I was experiencing clinical exhaustion.

Around the three month mark, I had the thought one day that everything was going to be okay.  And I started this post.  

But fairly soon after, Liza had some distressing news from Ukraine regarding her sister.  And in one phone call, we left that plateau and took a nosedive.  For about six weeks, I had to drag myself out of bed every morning.  She was unhappy and let everybody know it.  Every.  single.  day.   I felt like I had single handedly ruined my family's lives.  Everyone of us was struggling.  Their meltdowns were pointing at me.  Our firstborn didn't want to share her bedroom.  The younger three took it in turns to feel jealous.  Our bonding had come to a screeching halt.  Not for the first time Tom and I looked at each other with the "what have we done" stare.

...Then just like that, we got past it.  We drove to the NCHE homeschool conference in Winston Salem, had an amazing, uplifting time and the oppression of dread began to lift.  I stopped verbalizing my doubts with "God, where are you in this?" and praised instead, "God, only you". And now here we are...past the six month mark, with a second Ukrainian in the house.  We are hosting 7 year old B for six weeks with the same program that brought Liza last summer.



It may not be the last time the 'what have we done" stare flashes before our eyes along with the comfortable life we left behind.  But that loss pales in comparison to the gain of looking into the eyes of an orphan who has just realized for the first time that they are loved.

"I love my life.  I love you so much, Mommy." ~ Liza, 7/6/13

The thirsty pray for water, the hungry beg for bread, the desperate cry for mercy; 

Run to Him Run to Him 

The broken wait for healing, the orphans long for home, the slaves all cry for freedom 

There is hope, there is hope. 

We are, we are the visible invisible 

We are the flesh and bone of your redeeming love 

We are your kingdom unshakable 

Jesus Christ alive in us, the visible invisible. 

Your songs will wake the sleeper 

Your truth will wake the dead 

Your Gospel reign like fire, to the ends, to the ends

We are, we are the visible invisible 

We are the flesh and bone of your redeeming love 

We are your kingdom unshakable 

Jesus Christ alive in us, the visible invisible.

And the love of God will rise in us, rise in us 

And the light of God will shine, shine thru us 

And the love of God will rise in us, rise in us 

And the light of God will shine, shine thru us 

We are the visible invisible 

We are the flesh and bone of your redeeming love 

Jesus Christ alive in us, the visible invisible (Christa Wells "Visible Invisible)

How Liza's Story Became Alona's

Some of you have been praying diligently for Alona since we first asked for help finding her a home.  For those of you who don't know, Alona is our Liza's best friend from her orphanage in Ukraine.  Thursday, January 31st, Liza had gone to work with Tom.  He posted this status on Facebook at 9:15am Friday morning about an exchange he had with her at his office:

February 1 via mobile

Mercy and Liza came to work with me yesterday. During a brief pause and staring out the window, Liza said "I miss Alona". Alona is her 15 year old best friend who is still at the orphanage. I said, "who knows? Maybe she will be adopted too and come live in America like you?" Liza said, "Daddy, it is too late for her. I know this. She is 15. When she turns 16, no one can adopt her and she must leave school". I said, "then we need to be asking God to find her a family before she turns 16 in July." She folded her hands and bowed her head. Then looked up at me and nodded as if to say "go ahead and pray, I'm waiting." So the three of us prayed for Alona there in the middle of my office. Please join us in praying for her to find a family before July. –t

He had called me not long afterward and told me he thought we needed to do something.  So I sat down and began to write this post with pictures of Alona from our time there http://myfarawayhome.blogspot.com/2013/02/alona.html .
Thanks to our many supporters, it was viewed fourteen hundred twenty nine times in just a few days.

Friday, February 1st at 2:42pm I got an email from the sister-in-law of a friend of ours here in Raleigh.  The email asked for any information we could share about Alona so that they might pray for her, "if nothing else"; that they had followed some of our story of adopting Liza; that they have four daughters ranging in age from 6 months to 5 years; that "We don't feel equipped to adopt a teenager, but we are willing to do so if that is God's will for us. We know that God does not call the equipped, but equips those He calls."  In the course of writing back and forth, she mentioned that all their daughter's names start with the letter "A".  Coincidence if you want to call it that and if you don't know that Liza's birthday is the exact date of our wedding; that we celebrated our 16th anniversary together with her on her 16th birthday in Ukraine.  Me, I have another name for it.

I didn't actually post the blog on Facebook until 3:46pm.  You see, God already had this covered.  This story was already well underway.

We didn't tell Liza anything beyond the fact that we had posted Alona's pictures and that many, many people had gone to look at them.  We were still floored that she had prayed to the God who she believed wouldn't answer because of her past mistakes.  But every few hours, she would ask.  "What news Alona?"

Super Bowl Sunday, February 3rd, we were at friends' house to watch the game (being the country bumpkins we are with no live t.v.)  Liza, bored out of her ever lovin' mind was sitting next to me on the couch, not even interested in the commercials we Americans are so proud of.  My phone dinged.   "I wanted to let you know that we have sent an email to Angel's Haven about starting the adoption process.  Please pray for us as we start this adventure!"

February 3 via mobile at 10:16pm I posted this, but couldn't explain it just yet.  “We got some pretty cool news tonight. Might be able to share it soon. But on the way home from the game, Liza said, "I believe in God." :-) R

After she read those words, Liza buried her head behind my shoulder and cried.  She could not believe that the God of the Universe heard her prayers.  From that day on, Liza's struggle with survivors guilt disappeared.  She has told me several times since, "God listens."Alona now speaks with her new family every Saturday on the phone with an interpreter, a sweet, Christian, Ukrainian woman who visits the orphanage every weekend.  She now knows that she has a hope and a future.If you are feeling like an orphan whose Father does not hear your cries, please believe me when I tell you that He does.  Just as He heard the pleas of these orphaned children, in the middle of nowhere, in a forgotten country, He hears YOU.  Talk to Him again tonight.  Right now.  And believe that He is writing your story, too.