A Few Moments of Silence

This weekend we temporarily deactivated our Facebook account as we processed the death of our friend and the ever evolving yet rarely productive situation here in Ukraine. Yesterday we were painfully aware of the time his funeral was taking place.  Our brother in law attended and emailed us details as they were happening to help us feel present.  And it was helpful.  We still do not have a return date and cannot change our tickets until we know for sure when Liza's new passport will be ready.  It is another flaw among countless in the Ukrainian adoption process.  I hope that someone is able to change it someday.  If you are adopting or considering adopting from Ukraine, we'd love to hear from you and try to be of some support.  When we get back home we'll be able to see more clearly the beauty among the ashes.

A friend sent this link to us of an article addressing how we unintentionally make things worse for someone who is grieving.  It is specifically written about the horrific shootings in Connecticut, but the basic ideas can be applied to many painful situations in life.  It's much better worded than anything I have attempted to say recently on the subject of  "letting people feel what they need to feel".

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rev-emily-c-heath/dealing-with-grief-five-t_b_2303910.html#slide=more270071

The one that most applies across the board in life and that has been most difficult for me to process the past five weeks is this: 5. "'We may not understand it, but this was God's will.' Unless you are God, don't use this line."  I whole heartedly agree.  The thing that I have heard recently used to skirt the issue of God's will is, "God didn't cause it, but He allowed it."  I think God's job is far more complex than either of these sentences allow for, but more importantly it is not helpful to hear in the midst of heartache.   It would make an excellent small group discussion, but is not encouragement.

It is 10am on Sunday morning here.  We are all still jammie clad and vegetable like, making a second pot of coffee.  (We drink twice as much here as we ever do at home).  We've had Liza with us the past two nights and she hasn't slept well.  She's still passed out, the last one in bed.

Yesterday we were invited to a movie by our new Raleigh friends, the Shumakers.  They are here in Crimea adopting a 14 year old daughter.  They spend a lot of time with their new daughter's brother who is Liza's brother's best friend.  It was perfectly timed because we were in need of some good company.  Traveling with 8 people helps tremendously with what I imagine is painful loneliness to couples traveling alone, whether they left children behind in the States or had to split up after court.  But we still feel lonely, missing our friends.  It was another opportunity for us to get to know R and extend our desire to bring him to the States for visits or to study, if he desires.  He says he's not a good student but would like to visit.  We have his phone number to stay in touch.  We have not seen or heard from Liza's sister since Thanksgiving.  Please continue to pray for her.

Liza, her brother R and his best friend Y

It's been such a miracle to have several North Carolina families here to touch base with.  The Shumaker family wants to start a kind of support group for the newly adopted Ukrainian teens in the Raleigh area.  We are very excited about these opportunities for Liza.  We also have a Russian speaking counselor, a native Russian nurse at our doctors office and a Bible study with native Russian speaking ladies at our own church all lined up for her.  The presence of a Russian speaking community in our backyard is another miracle in this situation.

Tonight is Liza's LAST EVER night at the orphanage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I saved that little tidbit til the end of the blog so you wouldn't know I was going to say something really good unless you read the whole thing.  So ha! for those who quit early ;)  And I dressed it all up purty like.  The purple is a shout out to God for the 9th inning homerun.

Tomorrow we travel for the third time to Liza's place of birth to finally get her new birth certificate.  (My stomach loathes this drive).  On Tuesday we will take this to the passport office, which only accepts new applications on Tuesdays.  When something goes wrong in this step, families are delayed an entire week costing hundreds of dollars or more in living expenses.  The passport is mailed all the way to Kiev (check out the distance between Simferopol and Kiev on a map) and then back.  We are not allowed to simply pick it up in Kiev nor have it sent directly to the U.S. embassy.  It costs another two days in waiting.  We are getting on a train Wednesday night so that the Embassy can pre-process a few things before  the passport arrives.  We know they won't do her physical without it, however.  We are hoping to get it put on a  plane to us in Kiev by Friday night so the Embassy can get us her Visa on Christmas Eve.  If all of that goes well and we put my parents on an earlier flight a day or two ahead (there were already insufficient seats available a week ago), we might be able to get most of us on a Christmas morning flight at 6am Kiev time, arriving Raleigh at 6pm EST Christmas night.  (If anyone has airline connections, it could save Christmas...and would also be an awesome ending if we ever make a movie).

There are many more ifs in that scenario than I have listed, but that's the gist of it.  Thank you for your support and prayers and the donations we have received in the last few days.  They have been an encouragement.