We went to a local officials office for permission to visit the orphanage. The kids and grandparents had to wait in the car for an hour. We were asked things like how long we have been married and why would want another child when we already have four and how much money do we make...etc. There was some heated discussion in rapid Russian about us not adopting L's older sister. There is a history there which we do not believe would be beneficial to her in a close relationship. It is interesting that separating them as it is referred to is as important a step in the process as it is. They have not lived together in a home in 10 years. And they have not lived together in the orphanage for more than 3. She also has an older brother. Both biological siblings have agreed to come to this town on Monday to sign papers in front of a notary agreeing to her adoption and to their separation. Both have been on their own and working for years.
But nevertheless our facilitator told us not to be surprised if things change by Monday. She told L to pray this weekend that they don't change their minds. If either of them fights it, we could be in for a longer and more difficult & expensive trip. Trying not to worry about the things beyond our control but we think it is a source of worry for L.
After that meeting we went straight to the orphanage. In the meeting the nurse gave us a detailed medical background and several people were coming and going. We did not know she was being brought to us until she appeared in the doorway. We all jumped up and converged on her at once. She grabbed onto me and Tom and the children surrounded us for a very emotional family hug. She stayed in physical contact with us the rest of the visit and teared up many times. So did everyone else.
Today we visited for three hours. We brought L and her best friend hair clips from LillaRose and they put them right in their updo's :). As the director is out of town we cannot get permission to take L off the grounds before Monday. On a Saturday the children spend quite a bit of time watching cartoons upstairs where we are not allowed. There were several beautiful, sweet boys that followed us around, Sasha, Anton and Maxim. Keeper and Isabel adored their play time together. Language is not a barrier that laughter cannot overcome. Tomorrow we'll fill our pockets w candy before we go back to celebrate Tom's and L's birthday there. Any gifts we brought or want to buy must wait until after our hearings so they are not seen as bribes, even to the children.
We walked the grounds at the school today. The surroundings are a little bleak. It seems as though 50% of every structure is tumbling down. We would consider them safety hazards in the US. That would make most of Ukraine a safety hazard. Certainly the number of children in this school would be very closely supervised in our own country for that reason. A dug up well, a river, broken down equipment and ruins. Unfortunately, we aren't allowed to post pictures of the orphanage at this time, but the school itself is made up of several buildings that outwardly are in good repair compared to everything else out in the country. There is a shower house that is 1/4 mile walk which they are only allowed once a week. The rooms are very cold and sparsely decorated but someone has cared enough to try. The beds, even for the teens, look like a toddler bed and are not more than a foot apart by the picture L took for us. The social worker and house mother are kind to them. It is, however, not a home. It is an institution. And heartbreaking just how many children here live in them.
We have many more weeks ahead and are already feeling a little homesick seeing others mention Thanksgiving vacation beginning. We plan to ask if we can have L for the day and try our best to cook an American meal on 2 hotplates and in a microwave. No ovens and food allergies mean a year without pie.
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